Self-love

In my work as a yoga teacher I constantly have to do with very universal emotional problems we people have, but also with their solutions! We usually consider problems things that make us feel bad. We want to feel good. What is the best feeling we can have? Well, it’s called self-love. But self-love isn’t only about loving yourself.

The yoga practitioners are quite gifted to find the ways to alleviate pain as well in the physical body as on the emotional level. But it’s not always so simple, because many problems have taken on an energetic life in us. Then it’s not an emotion anymore, it’s finer. It’s a different kind of sensation that often feels like all over the place. On this subtle level, we are either filled with self-love or the lack of it.

What does it mean to love oneself? It ’doesn’t mean you are actively loving yourself all the time. I wonder what kind of life would that be. 🙃 As long as you blame others on anything, you certainly haven’t found love for yourself in yourself.  Same thing if you still look for acceptance outside of yourself.  

You as a subject can’t love yourself as an object. You can LOVE. That means mostly that in your thinking, feeling and behavior, there’s nothing that goes against your real self. You don’t blame yourself, you don’t have self-pity,  you don’t victimize yourself, you don’t underestimate yourself, you don’t hide your truth. These are signs of love. The lack of self-love is easy to see through your behavior if anything in it tells you’re not lovable.

The first step is to you get to know yourself deeply through the yoga practice. Then you can start to work your whole being toward Love.

I’m sure the regular asana practice is the path to self-love! 

The truth and the Truth

In Yoga Philosophy the sanskrit word Satya is standing for not only the Truth, but also for the virtue of living it. In all the commentaries on the Yoga Sutra you can find explanations on and examples of Satya. Mostly the texts emphasize the significance of telling the truth or not lying.

To have a good life we are supposed to tell the Truth in every occasion. This is not the simplest thing at all especially when you add to it the other virtue to follow, Ahimsa, which means you don’t harm anybody. Together these two principles make it all quite tricky. You need to have at least three inner qualities to make this work.

You need to be intelligent, loving and truthful. Intelligent to discern what is true. Loving to discern between what could be harming someone instead of just allowing the person to face his/her life raw. Truthful not to be scared to tell the Truth. When you follow these three guidelines together, you respect life as it is. You don’t play with it.

I’d like to mention one major difficulty in knowing the Truth. There are of course many, but nowadays the biggest obstacle is the rush. Whenever we are in a hurry, we can’t deeply feel, we can’t really distinguish between the very subtle differences in words, emotions and actions. So, we think we say the Truth, but we are not saying the Truth. We are pretending without meaning to.

We use formulas and repeat the common ways of expressing ourselves, but how many people address to you really meaning every word they utter? It can be very simple like how to say hello, and still people hide. They are maybe happy to see you, but they pretend they are happier than they are. When they say something “nice”, they are satisfied. But do they give their attention to feel you or even themselves? Do they stop to see what their real thoughts are?

Yoga teaches us to see beyond the form and to live fully even imprisoned in the form. We have formulas to facilitate communication, but make sure your speech is fresh, authentic and vivid. When it is, it touches people and it also touches yourself. This kind of words are true, non-violent and solid.

Boxing

To start the New Year, my philosophical ballet teacher, Frédéric Lazzarelli was joking once again about the elegance we lack.

We had finished the bar and we were in the middle to dance. Suddenly Frédéric stops us: “Show me you can dance! You are dancers, not boxers!”, he uttered.

This is how we do many things in life  –  somber and without soul. Also the things we like. We just do them. We do them with routine or even with anger.

How important it’s to bring ourselves an energy to our life to make a difference between a dancer and a boxer. What’s that difference? Love. We do with love. We love what we do.

DANS LE RING

Pour démarrer le Nouvel An, mon professeur de danse classique, Frédéric Lazzarelli, fidèle à ses habitudes, a plaisanté encore une fois sur notre manque d’élégance. Nous avions déjà fini la barre, nous nous étions installés au milieu pour danser.

À un moment donné, Frédéric nous interrompt: “Mais enfin, dansez! Vous êtes des danseurs, pas des boxeurs.”

C’est comme ça que nous faisons de diverses choses dans la vie – sans âme et avec une moue. Même les choses que nous aimons! Nous les exécutons. Nous les faisons avec routine et même avec hostilité.

Combien il est important de générer une énergie qui fait la différence entre la boxe et la danse. Quelle est cette énergie? C’est l’amour! On met de l’amour à ce qu’on fait et on fait ce qu’on aime.

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NYRKKEILYTUNNILLA

Vuoden alun kunniaksi balettiopettajani Frédéric Lazzarelli heitti taas kerran tunnin sekaan omaa huumoriaan. Olimme jo tehneet tanko-osuuden ja siirtyneet keskilattialle tanssimaan.

Sitten Frédéric keskeyttää: “Tanssikaa, ihmiset hyvät! Olette tanssijoita ettekä nyrkkeilijöitä!”

Näin me monesti teemme jokapäiväisiä askareita – sieluttomina ja synkkinä. Myös niitä asioita, joista pidämme. Me vain suoritamme asioita. Teemme arkipäiväisesti ja joskus jopa vihaisesti.

Miten olennaista onkaan, että tuomme tekemisiimme itse tietyn energian. Tuomme juuri sen mikä erottaa tanssin nyrkkeilystä. Rakkauden. Teemme rakastaen ja rakastamme sitä mitä teemme.

 

The divine photo by Catherine Chenu

Always blissed

As the yoga has spread all over the Western world, also some spiritual truths have become common knowledge. Thus at least all meditators and yoga practitioners know that if you have a problem with someone, you can take a look in the mirror. The inner itinerary is always the same. We admit that the other is not responsible for our bad feelings and we try to understand the reason for the suffering inside ourselves. We even feel honored to meet with the reality inside of us whether it’s a blockage, resistance or a restriction. This way we shed light on the unconscious spots of our mind and allow more emotional clarity and serenity. You can see less talk about the reverse situation. Who is responsible for our happiness or bliss?

I remember a moment when a sweet friend of mine woke me up from my dream. I had just separated from my partner and I felt pain in my heart. I was anxious because I missed him and the love he made me feel. I had been so happy with him and now I felt that he had taken my happiness away. So often in a separation or a divorce, the things get obscured. The other is seen either in a negative light or in a idealized manner.

My friend said to me: “If you were happy with him, it’s about your capacity of being happy and your capacity of loving. It’s not his gift to you.” I realized how true it was. Someone gets the best out of us, makes our love rise, but we are not at the mercy of anybody. In a separation, one good thing is that we face ourselves and can find out how to get our love alive again. We get the best out of ourselves by finding what limits your happiness. How difficult it is sometimes to see that we have everything. The mind distorts this too. It looks outside to see the cause of the happiness. But the happiness too is inside.

syksy

TOUJOURS AUX ANGES

Comme le yoga s’est répandu partout dans l’Occident, les vérités spirituelles se sont également propagées pour devenir un savoir commun. Ainsi, au moins les gens qui méditent ou pratiquent le yoga sont bien au courant que quand on a un problème avec quelqu’un, il faut regarder dans la glace. Dans ces situations, nous admettons que l’autre n’est pas responsable pour nos sentiments difficiles et nous cherchons à comprendre la raison pour notre souffrance à l’intérieur de nous-mêmes. Nous nous sentons même honorés de nous rencontrer ainsi qu’il s’agisse d’un blockage, d’une résistance ou bien d’une restriction en nous. C’est comme ça que nous portons la lumière à tout ce qui est en dehors de la conscience immédiate de notre mental et nous obtenons plus de clarté et sérénité émotionnelles. Il y a eu moins de discussion et de partage sur les situations inverses. À savoir qui est responsable de notre bonheur ou épanouissement?

Je me souviens d’un moment où une amie m’a réveillée d’un rêve. J’avais vécu une séparation d’avec mon compagne et j’en gardais beaucoup de douleur dans mon cœur. J’étais angoissée. Il me manquait et l’amour que j’avais senti avec lui me manquait également. J’avais été tellement heureuse avec lui et là, je sentais qu’il m’avait privé de mon bonheur. Assez souvent lors d’une séparation ou d’un divorce, les choses s’obscurcissent. L’autre est vu soit sous une lumière plutôt négative soit d’une manière idolisante.

Mon amie m’a dit: “Si tu étais heureuse avec lui, c’est ta capacité d’être heureuse et ta capacité d’aimer. Ce bonheur n’est pas son cadeau à toi, mais t’appartient naturellement.” J’ai compris combien c’était vrai. Quelqu’un nous fait sentir meilleur, la même personne suscite l’amour en nous, mais nous ne sommes pas à la merci de personne. Ce qu’il y a de bien dans une séparation, c’est que c’est une possibilité de faire face à soi-même pour trouver l’amour en soi-même. Lorsque nous voyons ce qui limite notre bonheur, nous pouvons chercher l’épanouissement en nous. Parfois, il est difficile de comprendre que nous avons déjà tout. Absolument tout. Le mental se dirige vers l’extérieur pour trouver la raison pour le bonheur. Le bonheur se trouve également à l’intérieur.

RAKKAUDEN AALLOILLA

Nykypäivänä, kun jooga ja meditaatio on levinnyt kaikkialle länsimaihin, ovat erilaiset henkiset totuuslauseetkin tullut monille tutuiksi. Esimerkiksi se, että jos toisen ihmisen kanssa on ongelma, kannattaa katsoa peiliin. Sisäinen reitti ongelmaan on aina sama. Tiedostamme sen, että vaikeat tunteemme eivät ole kenenkään toisen ihmisen syytä. Etsimme itsestämme sen mikä vastustaa jotain olemassaolevaa. Saamme kunnian kohdata sisäisen todellisuutemme oli siellä sitten joku solmu, torjunta tai kutistuma. Näin tuomme valoa niihin kohtiin, jotka eivät vielä ole tietoisuutemme piirissä ja sitä kautta saamme tunteisiimmekin tyyneyttä ja selkeyttä. Vähemmän on yleensä puhetta siitä, että sama asia pätee käänteisesti. Kuka siis on vastuussa onnestamme tai autuudestamme?

Muistan hetken, jolloin suloinen ystäväni herätti minut unesta. Olin eronnut ja sydämeni oli siitä tuskainen. Olin ahdistunut, koska kaipasin rakasta ihmistä ja rakkautta, jota tunsin hänen läheisyydessään. Olin ollut niin onnellinen hänen kanssaan ja nyt tunsin menettäneeni sen onnen ja rakkauden eron myötä. Niin kuin niin monesti eroavilla ja eronneilla, asiat sekoittuvat. Toinen näyttäytyy joko negatiivisessa tai yltiöpositiivisessa valossa.

Ystäväni sanoi: “Jos sinä olit onnellinen hänen kanssaan, se on sinun oma kykysi olla onnellinen, sinun kykysi tuntea rakkautta. Onnesi ei ole lahja häneltä.” Tajusin, miten totta se oli. Joku saa meidän parhaat puolemme esiin ja nostaa rakkauden suurena esiin, mutta emme ole kenenkään armoilla. Erossa yksi hyvä asia on se, että saamme tulla kasvotusten itsemme kanssa ja tutkia miten voimme itsekin saada rakkauden eloon. Saamme löytää parhaat puolemme, kun näemme mikä rajoittaa onneamme. Miten vaikeaa onkin joskus nähdä, että meillä on itsessämme kaikki. Mieli vääristää usein tämänkin. Se etsii jonkun ulkoisen kohteen, vaikka onni on sisällämme.

Photo by Anne

Yoga Trail

Dear fellow yogis, yoginis and students of mine!

This is cool. I’m new to Yoga Trail and already a big fan!

I feel Yoga Trail is a really clever, clear and useful system as well for us teachers as for the students. It’s easy to use. You can locate a teacher or see what’s going on in a particular place you’re heading.

As I’m travelling quite much and my workshops, retreats and little special events are sometimes set up in a short time, I wouldn’t put them all on my website. I would certainly put them on my Yoga Trail profil, because this is where people do also their last minute searches.

What I find really functional too is that the teacher can mention all the studios she/he is visiting regularly or only sometimes. The students can then get the information from the studio about the particular teacher’s workshops to come.

You can follow one or several teachers, so you would be notified of their plans as soon as they update their profiles. You can also invite your friends if you think they would like to follow the same teacher.

This is how you can find me easily and see what are my plans. And if you feel like sharing your experience in one of my workshops, you can even write a review!

You can take a look on my profil: http://www.yogatrail.com/teacher/anne-nuotio-105468.